Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tyler Daniel

I guess I should have known. Hindsight is 20/20, isn't that what they say? 4 years ago today, I should have known that my life was about to drastically change. Oh, I knew I was in for some change. Going from one child to 2. Changing 2 sets of diapers instead of 1. Needing to ask one child to wait as I dealt with the other. But I was about to have another boy. I knew how to have a boy. Things would go just about the same, right?

And then the monitor on my huge belly started to alarm. The nurse moved it around, then moved me around, then put an oxygen mask on my face. My heart started to pound. Tears welled up in my eyes. This baby was scaring me. Then things seemingly went back to normal, and because my epidural was working quite nicely, I sighed with relief. Soon it was time to do the "practice" push before they called my doctor in the room. I literally had barely started pushing when the nurse held her hands out and yelled, "STOP, stop, stop!" I looked up at Dan, who started laughing and made some comment about how he was going to just squirt right out across the room, and then I started laughing. The nurse quickly said, "Oh, DON'T make her laugh, seriously, he is coming out."

And thus began the flurry of activity, 800 nurses flying around the room, one standing at the foot of my bed, ready to catch a child should I dare laugh again. Then my doctor arrived, asked me to push, and 1/2 a push later I heard, "STOP." And then I heard, "okay, the cord is wrapped around his neck, I need some help here." And my heart stopped again. Don't scare me like this, child! Seconds later I heard him cry, and I saw his blue tinged little body (see his hands?) start to pink up while screaming on my chest, and I knew I was in love.

I just didn't realize then that this child would continue, sometimes daily, to scare the life out of me and then make me laugh within a minute.

My baby turns 4 today. Tyler Daniel. Ty. Beebs. Beebee. Beebs McTeebs. The one person I know who can bring out the most emotion in me. For better or worse; I've discovered that phrase applies to more than just a marriage.

Ty can move from the most defiant child in the universe to the most loving in 2.5 seconds flat. This kid doesn't do anything halfway. He is passionate about whatever it is that he's doing. He'll go from cheering wildly while watching a basketball game on TV, to focusing intently on his latest puzzle. Precisely coloring a picture, to giving a serious beating to his competitor on Wii boxing. He's either yelling at the top of his lungs, or whispering a secret in someone's ear. He softly pets the dog, then tries to push poor Felix down the stairs.

I mentioned Wii. Right now, Wii is Ty's reason for getting up in the morning. His reason for breathing. His little competitive spirit both excites me and terrifies me. Team sports are just around the corner for him. Hopefully we can channel that drive to win in a positive way. It's a little ridiculous to say that I think Wii has really helped him with that. Or, used to. See, I used to be able to beat him. I would let him win sometimes, and then frequently I'd win so that he would learn that even when you don't win you can still have fun playing. Unfortunately I can't always win anymore. Yes, a 4 year old is consistently beating me. And I'm not half bad. Just saying.

There is no way I could love my baby more. The times I've wanted to pull my hair out may just about equal the times I've laughed, but when he sits on my lap, kisses me, hugs me, or grins at me with that dimpled left cheek, I can't imagine living life without him. And not just the good parts. The whole Ty package. The high highs and the low lows. Ty wouldn't be Ty without the indescribable messes he creates, the mismatched shorts and tank tops on 30 degree days, the Dramamine dependence, the flashes of rage when I tell him the fruit snacks are gone, the manipulative "I'm too tired to go to bed," statements, the insistence on the red car cart behind all the blue ones at Fred Meyer, the fists of fury. He wouldn't be him if I didn't want to ring his neck on a daily basis. And he wouldn't be him if my heart didn't squeeze when he cuddles up next to me and tells me he loves me.

I'm so excited to see what God has in store for this kid. Whatever Ty does, he will do it well. I just pray that whatever he does won't involve the risk of bodily harm on a daily basis. At least it's already been confirmed multiple times (like here and here and many other times I've been too traumatized to blog about) that he's got a guardian angel who's quick on his toes.
Happy, happy birthday Tyler Daniel! You make my heart full.