Saturday, July 07, 2007

An ugly contest...

You know how Regis and Kelly do a beautiful baby competition? You send in the cutest picture you have of your baby and think for sure you'll win because the other 399 million babies that will enter the competition could not possibly be as beautiful as yours. I've been looking through some old pictures and thinking I should start a Ugliest Baby Picture competition. Holy moley. Or, as Jake used to say, "hohwee mohmee" some of these pictures are bad. I mean really bad. I'm posting these so that all you other parents out there with kids not nearly as cute as mine (usually) are, will be encouraged that even those adorable Stump kids are sometimes...hideous.

Jake's ugly collage. Wow. I've got this competition in the bag. Top to bottom, left to right (like reading, hmm)#1 Looking into the sun, and evidently trying to hide his lips. #2 17 days old and looking like an old man. An old, very bored man. #3 Attempting to smile, but just being ugly. #4 Never again will I let Dan near Jake's hair. #5 Slimy newborn, need I say more. #6 Futilely practicing the "hey baby" look. #7 Seriously. #8 Vomit on the face of a child, priceless. #9 Green snot is not really photogenic.

Ty's ugly collage. Are you sick to your stomach yet? #1 Afraid of the camera...or maybe just a case of rice-cereal-phobia. #2 Again, newborns are not cute. Ever. #3 Snapped right after the best picture ever taken, deciding one cute pic is quite enough for today, thank you. #4 Usually it's nice to see even one small piece of your child's face in a photo. #5 Yep, that's my baby. Sorry. #6 I tried to get a picture of the rash he had on his face, and you can't see how ugly the rash is because of how ugly the child is. #7 Coughing, and guaranteeing himself a top prize finish in my contest. #8 Why I started blogging AFTER Ty's early months. #9 Praying he would grow into his enormous head.


My favorite Ty ugly picture. The face only a mother could love.

7 comments:

Curtis and Jane said...

We are both crying and I very nearly wet my pants from laughing so hard....and we're in public (starbucks).

Love you guys. Excellent post. You should write comedy books. :)

Bec said...

Okay, let me just say that even when they're ugly, they still seem to be cute. Well, maybe except for the bottom left one on both. Priceless. And I forgot about Jake's vomit face! So classic! Too funny...

Marla Taviano said...

That is one of the funniest posts I've ever read. NO ONE blogs about how ugly their children are! You're a genius!

faith said...

You ARE a genius! That was hilarious!! I may have to copy you. Oh my. You should seriously write children's books you would make them so funny..you crack me up. We need to do something soon.

faith said...

ps..i like the new layout. is that jake calling the jr high boys inside? or just watching cars drive by?! :)

Greg and Andrea said...

Oh my goodness! I, too, was laughing so hard I had tears. Love it.

Andrea

Barry said...

Finally!!! After decades of searching I find an honest person (with delightful and good-lookin kids, I might add). Your blog needs to be front page of the Oregonian and in every church bulletin -- every week. "Relax, folks, ugly babies grow up to be beautiful people." (I know from personal experience.) Thanks for the laughs -- and great writing, Angie!