Musings from the ER

I wrote most of this the other night (morning?) when I did a night shift in the ER. I didn't post it because I knew I'd have 28 sentences that made no sense because my eyes were crossing at the time. I almost deleted it, but I just edited my incoherancies (I know, not a word)...and here you go. A little glimpse into another portion of my life:

I'm at work right now, finally getting my federally mandated 30 minute break. Note that I got here at 9:30pm, and it's now 5:50am, and I am just now getting my first chance to sit down, not to mention empty my elephant sized bladder. I've been downing coffee tonight like it's going out of style, so you really should be impressed.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in a busy ER. Here are just a very few of the highlights:

• A few people with respiratory problems. The young ones who don't smoke 3 packs a day went home, and the old ones, along with the ones who bring their own ash trays, got admitted.
• A 16-year-old who was in a gang fight and has a stab wound to the face.
• About five patients with migraines (probably only 2 of whom are legit).
• Four people with dental pain (none of whom are legit).
• A schizophrenic woman high on cocaine who is restrained to her bed after swearing she'll kill us all.
• A patient with chronic back pain for 10+ years who decided that at 2am the ER would no doubt cure him.
• A lady tweaking on meth who fell off the back of a truck and only bruised her knee.
• An incredibly foul mouthed 21 year old "gentleman" with a laceration on his upper lip after being punched in the face by his father. I almost gave him a matching one on the lower lip.

That's been my night so far. And you are probably sleeping in your nice warm comfortable bed, your head resting on a fluffy pillow, no need for a Big Gulp of bad coffee and a can of pepper spray in your pocket...sucker.