Well, Curtis, you should be proud. Dan has embraced Mustache March (thankfully he's only been at it for about a week, the whole month would have done me in.) Our brother-in-law Curtis has a pretty wicked stache going on right now, and the creepiness of it all amused Dan so much he thought he'd take a whack at it. Now I will admit that there are plenty of men who look great with a mustache, my father-in-law one of them, but Dan and Curtis...not so much. Dan hadn't shaved in quite a few days, then on Saturday evening when I realized he shaved everything but the mustache I believe my exact words were, "you do NOT have a mustache right now," followed closely by, "you're not actually going out in public looking like that," and subsequently, "you realize you'll be sleeping on the futon until that thing is off your face."
My lack of enthusiasm only spurred Dan on, which I should have realized would be the case, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. By the way, I'm deliberately not posting a picture because I'm refusing to look at his face long enough to capture a photo, besides the fact that this is not exactly the type of Kodak moment I'd like to save for all time.
I shook my head when Dan went to school on Monday morning, hairy lip and all. Little did I know that my hatred for the stache would be publicized in all of Dan's classes. He came home with 16 handwritten notes from some of his students telling me just how much they loved his new look. I knew he bribed them to write these notes, but I have to admit, some of them were doggone funny. A few had me laughing out loud. I'll share some of the highlights of the middle school passion for Mustache March (and I won't edit any of the spelling/grammar errors because they just add to the comedy):
"Dear Mr Stump's wife,
He looks tight in his mustache. :) It's cool." (a drawing is in the middle of the page, entitled Mr. stump w/his mustache) and then in large letters at the bottom, "It's friggen amazing."
"Hi Mrs. Stump,
You should let Mr. Stump keep his mustash Because when it gets Bigger then you set it on fire and roast marshmellows."
"Dear Mrs. Stump,
Mr. Stump's mustache is so cool & goes so wonderfully with his awesome complexion. You should welcome his mustache warmly."
And my personal favorites:
"Dear Mrs. Stump,
Today in class I realize something special is on Mr. Stump's face. And I notice that it was a lovely mustache on his face. Even though I'm a woman, I want a mustache identical to Mr. Stumps."
"Dear Mrs. Stump,
I can't wate until I go through puberty so I can have such a nice stash as that. I'll be sprouten that lip hair like it's a new pair of shoes...If you think about it, a stash even works as a food source. If you get food stuck in there, later on your hungry, so you use it like a vending machine, your tongue is the claw. "B1, Oh sweet, corn!" But now you see, a moustache has a great amount of advantages. Here's a poem about lip hair, called lip hair:
Lip hair, hip hair, when will you come?
Lip hair, lip hair, you'll never be outdone
Lip hair, lip hair, your just so sweet
I'll curl my lip hair rite down to my feet.
Oh stash, oh stash, you are so yummy,
I even saw a stash on the easter bunny
Although the stash that makes everyone pause,
is obviously the one on Santa Clause
Upper lip, upper lip, you'll soon be warm,
Oh taste buds, oh taste buds, you'll soon taste corn."
It's a shame Dan had to use these budding writers to promote such a cause as Mustache March. I'll give them kudos, but my intense disgust for the stache remains. Sorry Dan. Sorry Curtis. And VERY sorry to you, Jane, who has had to endure 2 more weeks of this than I. Not so "friggen amazing," is it?