It's almost February?

Jenne just reminded me. Seriously, February? Where did January go? Oh yes, I've spent most of January in the abyss that is my bedroom closet finding old "treasures" I have neglected to throw away until now. Why? And no, the reason is not because I've suddenly decided to get organized. It could be because my closet doors were unable to close properly because of the junk on the floor, but that's not it either. We've decided we're going to sell our house (I accidentally wrote "seal" our house, and although I like marine biology just as much as the next person, I can't picture a house with porpoise wallpaper attracting many buyers. My typos are proving to me how long I've been away from the computer.) ANYWAY, we're going to put our house on the market pretty soon, and I'm currently horrified by the thought of people being invited to open every closet and cabinet in my house at a moments notice. So I've been busy posting our why-not-try-to-get-some-money-out-of-this junk on Craigslist and dumping our I'm-embarrassed-to-say-I-ever-owned-this junk at the Salvation Army.

Normally the boys are not allowed in our room, not only because we're mean parents, but because it is never kid-proof. As you can tell from this picture. I was knee deep in buried treasure when Ty found the NyQuil sitting on our bathroom counter. Ty's saying "One question, Mom. Just how much alcohol is in NyQuil?" Don't worry, most of it got on his face. OH, and my carpet. Even when I'm in 100% mom-mode (and not garbage man mode) this kid gets into things. I was just getting up the other day because I heard the kids get out of bed. By the time I'd put on my slippers Ty had pulled a kitchen chair up to the counter and eaten two bananas. Two HUGE bananas. I thought he was on the first one when I came out, then realized we were missing another one. I searched around the house for the other peel (which I didn't even know he could open) and then found it placed neatly in the garbage can. How thoughtful. I was conveniently gone when Dan had to change that afternoon dirty diaper. Sorry, dude.

I could go on for hours about the other things keeping me from this blog, like Jake deciding it would be fun to stand back and try to arch his stream of pee over the potty-chair I had on there for Ty instead of taking it off and lifting the lid. Ty never goes by the way, but INSISTS on sitting there during every diaper change for approximately 0.5 seconds and then says "aw done!" and runs around the house naked until I can catch him, then screams "no diapah, mommy" and arches his back as I try to pin him down. You can tell that never gets old. Or I could tell you about Ty's anger management issues that we're trying to deal with before he becomes a homicical maniac. Or Jakes new response to my question of why he's disobeying, "Because I LOVE to disobey." Or why he's hitting his brother, "because I LOVE hitting my brother" or why he's kicking the dog "because Daddy kicks him, and because I LOVE kicking my dog."

I'd always heard staying home with your kids is a full-time job. Some days I just wish I got paid overtime.

So that's January, folks. Tune in for more adventures. Selling the house, buying a new one, keeping Ty out of mortal danger. You know, the typical day-in-the-life stuff.

The best, and worst, of 2007

Once again, I should have done this post earlier. Way earlier. Like last year. (Get it? Dec 31st? Any laughs? No?) Forget it. Here's the Most Memorable Stump Moments of 2007.

Best (worst?) poop story of 2007: Mid January's Nightmare in the Bath, and yes it has taken me almost a year to laugh about it
Worst haircut: Jake's Spring Break Shave. Never again.
Proudest friendship moment: April 29, standing next to Heather when she said "I do"
Best grown-up time: June weekend at the beach, and December Christmas party while my kids were puking at my parents' house. Thanks again gram and pops, you're getting a big reward in heaven for that night...right Dad?
Best rock-star-meeting moment: last Saturday in May when my my rock-star dad introduced me to some new friends
Best vacation of 2007: umm, that time we spent the day in Clackamas...OH WAIT, Maui in August.
Best Alcorn family moment: listening to Jack Franklin's first cries outside the door with my mom
Biggest marriage compromise: August when boy met dog and girl met insanely large plasma TV
Best car of 2007 according to Jake: every single one he saw last year, live or in pictures, except evidently the Meyer's purple Dodge Ram. Sorry Di.
Worst dramatic trip to the pediatrician: 3 words... Jake, battery and nose
Worst Ty bruise (so far): November's ugly shiner after falling off a chair (while standing), and hitting his head first on a desk and then on the corner of the fireplace
Best 2007 moments: each of these and many more. My 4 boys (yes, I'm including Felix, but I counted him after Dan) made 2007 one of the best years of my life. I'm so looking forward to 2008. Speaking of 2008...

Best 2008 moment: thinking about all the time it will take everyone to go to each of these links and read my old ramblings. Hope you have a cup of coffee handy, enjoy!

Oh, and if you want more pictures of an Alcorn family Christmas, go to my dad's blog

Merry Christmas to all...a little late

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I meant to post on Christmas Eve but after dinner and presents at the Alcorn's it was getting too late to pen the great American blog post. Then I wanted to post on Christmas but who (besides Faith) gets on the computer on Christmas day, then I meant to post on the 26th, OH but I worked from 11am-11:30pm. The 27th I was practically in a coma recovering from Christmas Eve, Christmas day, and saving lives left and right at work, and the 28th we had brunch at my sister's and dinner at the Stump's with Auntie Jane and Uncle Curtie. (Both boys couldn't get enough of their only close relatives living farther than 10 miles away, hint hint.) Then the 29th we spent at Dan's grandparents house doing a gift exchange, white elephant style but with good gifts (Aunt Joan stole the present I wanted, so I spit in her tea when she wasn't looking, haha who got the last laugh??) Especially since I could feel myself getting sicker and sicker with each passing moment. I took a 2 hour nap when we got home and wanted to die when I woke up. I knew I had a fever, but didn't take my temp until Sunday night when it was 104.3 degrees. Almost seizure worthy, are you impressed? Yesterday I got antibiotics and besides the fact that I'm coughing up lung number two today, I am starting to feel better. And (last excuse, I promise) even earlier this morning as I sat down to blog, Ty opened a bottle of white-out and painted himself and my bedroom floor, and while I was cleaning it up, drank the last 1/4 of my vanilla latte. I'm surprised he's sleeping right now. WOW, did you like those excuses? I'm a little long-winded...my father's daughter, indeed.

Now that I've taken up far too much of your time, I'll hit the holiday highlights. Here's a good story. Christmas eve we were picking up some last minute groceries and I was pushing the car-shaped cart (brilliant) at Fred Meyer with my two little elves reeking havoc left and right. I actually got to the check out counter needing to put 3 different items back because I had no idea they were thrown in my cart. ANYWAY, I'm trying to wheel that beast of a cart around a corner and I almost nail a sweet little elderly couple. I apologized profusely and the husband, a quite portly little gentleman, makes a remark about how it's no problem, and they have made the aisles bigger and so on, and Ty starts saying "Santa, Santa, ho ho ho, Santa" as we're walking away. I'm smiling at the Christmas spirit my son is caught up in when I realize that the old man had a nice white beard to go along with that bowl full of jelly stomach. It was cut short, but it was a beard nonetheless, and Ty couldn't have been more excited that he had just been chatting with St. Nick.

Too long again, sorry. Presents, food, adorable Christmas outfits (pix to come later)reading the Christmas story, stocking stuffers, delightful squeals of joy, more food, lots of family, singing Happy Birthday to Jesus, more food, more family, and disgusted squeals of anger when the toys were put away at bedtime. Speaking of bedtime, rabbit trail with me for a moment. I'll make it quick. Ty got a twin bed for Christmas, so the boys have been sleeping in the same room. We're eventually getting bunkbeds, but we're planning to move pretty soon so the beds are on the floor. Probably a good idea with Ty's history of...being Ty. But it always takes them about 1 1/2 hours to actually fall asleep. I'm not exaggerating. Dan had been scolding them the other night after about an hour, and said if they got out of their beds again, there would be spankings. He heard some noise and opened the door to find Jake standing with a pillow raised over his head, ready to pummel Ty. "But Daddy, I didn't get out of my bed." It always cracks me up to check on them before I go to sleep. This is what I found the other night:I guess if you're going to use anyone's rear end for a pillow, Ty's diaper clad ghetto booty would be a pretty good choice.

So to sum it all up, even with the illnesses and sleepless nights, we loved being with family, we loved seeing the delight on our kids' faces, we loved celebrating the birth of our Savior, and we definitely had ourselves a merry little Christmas. Hope you did too.