The 411

Let's be honest. I don't have time for the 5 mile long stories of the typical Ang Stump blog. But hopefully you'll get the gist of what's been going on with our family these days.

Dan's world: Suffering from pharyngitis, cephalgia, bronchitis, and is intermittantly febrile (sore throat, headache, chest cold, and has a fever off and on...sounds a lot better in medical terminology, plus it makes me look smarter) He's been sick for 3 weeks and is finally starting to shake it after having the whole week off.

Jake's world: playing with cars, watching the same 30 seconds of the movie Mouse Hunt at least 79 times in a row because he's now proficient in TiVo technology and the remote control; playing with more cars; ordering "2 apple pies, pwease" at McDonalds by himself holding a wadded-up one dollar bill to the cashier; hitting his brother for taking his cars; trying desperately to figure out his squirt toy in the bathtub and then shooting a stream of water into his brothers face and yelling at the top of his lungs "Ha ha, THAT'S what I'm talking about"; growing 6 inches in two days; and finally...playing with cars.

Ty's world: pulling down the new curtains mommy and auntie Karina worked so hard to put up; using a sharpie as body paint; supergluing his ring and pinky fingers together and then ripping them apart causing a chunk of skin to be relocated from one finger to the other; waking up approximately 18 times a night due to an everlasting cold and then waking up every morning with 6 inches of snot crusted from nose to chin; FINALLY getting over the cold only to get a fat bloody lip while throwing a temper tantrum about not getting an endless supply of tic tacs.

Ang's world: um, see above...and pray for my sanity

It's almost February?

Jenne just reminded me. Seriously, February? Where did January go? Oh yes, I've spent most of January in the abyss that is my bedroom closet finding old "treasures" I have neglected to throw away until now. Why? And no, the reason is not because I've suddenly decided to get organized. It could be because my closet doors were unable to close properly because of the junk on the floor, but that's not it either. We've decided we're going to sell our house (I accidentally wrote "seal" our house, and although I like marine biology just as much as the next person, I can't picture a house with porpoise wallpaper attracting many buyers. My typos are proving to me how long I've been away from the computer.) ANYWAY, we're going to put our house on the market pretty soon, and I'm currently horrified by the thought of people being invited to open every closet and cabinet in my house at a moments notice. So I've been busy posting our why-not-try-to-get-some-money-out-of-this junk on Craigslist and dumping our I'm-embarrassed-to-say-I-ever-owned-this junk at the Salvation Army.

Normally the boys are not allowed in our room, not only because we're mean parents, but because it is never kid-proof. As you can tell from this picture. I was knee deep in buried treasure when Ty found the NyQuil sitting on our bathroom counter. Ty's saying "One question, Mom. Just how much alcohol is in NyQuil?" Don't worry, most of it got on his face. OH, and my carpet. Even when I'm in 100% mom-mode (and not garbage man mode) this kid gets into things. I was just getting up the other day because I heard the kids get out of bed. By the time I'd put on my slippers Ty had pulled a kitchen chair up to the counter and eaten two bananas. Two HUGE bananas. I thought he was on the first one when I came out, then realized we were missing another one. I searched around the house for the other peel (which I didn't even know he could open) and then found it placed neatly in the garbage can. How thoughtful. I was conveniently gone when Dan had to change that afternoon dirty diaper. Sorry, dude.

I could go on for hours about the other things keeping me from this blog, like Jake deciding it would be fun to stand back and try to arch his stream of pee over the potty-chair I had on there for Ty instead of taking it off and lifting the lid. Ty never goes by the way, but INSISTS on sitting there during every diaper change for approximately 0.5 seconds and then says "aw done!" and runs around the house naked until I can catch him, then screams "no diapah, mommy" and arches his back as I try to pin him down. You can tell that never gets old. Or I could tell you about Ty's anger management issues that we're trying to deal with before he becomes a homicical maniac. Or Jakes new response to my question of why he's disobeying, "Because I LOVE to disobey." Or why he's hitting his brother, "because I LOVE hitting my brother" or why he's kicking the dog "because Daddy kicks him, and because I LOVE kicking my dog."

I'd always heard staying home with your kids is a full-time job. Some days I just wish I got paid overtime.

So that's January, folks. Tune in for more adventures. Selling the house, buying a new one, keeping Ty out of mortal danger. You know, the typical day-in-the-life stuff.

The best, and worst, of 2007

Once again, I should have done this post earlier. Way earlier. Like last year. (Get it? Dec 31st? Any laughs? No?) Forget it. Here's the Most Memorable Stump Moments of 2007.

Best (worst?) poop story of 2007: Mid January's Nightmare in the Bath, and yes it has taken me almost a year to laugh about it
Worst haircut: Jake's Spring Break Shave. Never again.
Proudest friendship moment: April 29, standing next to Heather when she said "I do"
Best grown-up time: June weekend at the beach, and December Christmas party while my kids were puking at my parents' house. Thanks again gram and pops, you're getting a big reward in heaven for that night...right Dad?
Best rock-star-meeting moment: last Saturday in May when my my rock-star dad introduced me to some new friends
Best vacation of 2007: umm, that time we spent the day in Clackamas...OH WAIT, Maui in August.
Best Alcorn family moment: listening to Jack Franklin's first cries outside the door with my mom
Biggest marriage compromise: August when boy met dog and girl met insanely large plasma TV
Best car of 2007 according to Jake: every single one he saw last year, live or in pictures, except evidently the Meyer's purple Dodge Ram. Sorry Di.
Worst dramatic trip to the pediatrician: 3 words... Jake, battery and nose
Worst Ty bruise (so far): November's ugly shiner after falling off a chair (while standing), and hitting his head first on a desk and then on the corner of the fireplace
Best 2007 moments: each of these and many more. My 4 boys (yes, I'm including Felix, but I counted him after Dan) made 2007 one of the best years of my life. I'm so looking forward to 2008. Speaking of 2008...

Best 2008 moment: thinking about all the time it will take everyone to go to each of these links and read my old ramblings. Hope you have a cup of coffee handy, enjoy!

Oh, and if you want more pictures of an Alcorn family Christmas, go to my dad's blog

Merry Christmas to all...a little late

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I meant to post on Christmas Eve but after dinner and presents at the Alcorn's it was getting too late to pen the great American blog post. Then I wanted to post on Christmas but who (besides Faith) gets on the computer on Christmas day, then I meant to post on the 26th, OH but I worked from 11am-11:30pm. The 27th I was practically in a coma recovering from Christmas Eve, Christmas day, and saving lives left and right at work, and the 28th we had brunch at my sister's and dinner at the Stump's with Auntie Jane and Uncle Curtie. (Both boys couldn't get enough of their only close relatives living farther than 10 miles away, hint hint.) Then the 29th we spent at Dan's grandparents house doing a gift exchange, white elephant style but with good gifts (Aunt Joan stole the present I wanted, so I spit in her tea when she wasn't looking, haha who got the last laugh??) Especially since I could feel myself getting sicker and sicker with each passing moment. I took a 2 hour nap when we got home and wanted to die when I woke up. I knew I had a fever, but didn't take my temp until Sunday night when it was 104.3 degrees. Almost seizure worthy, are you impressed? Yesterday I got antibiotics and besides the fact that I'm coughing up lung number two today, I am starting to feel better. And (last excuse, I promise) even earlier this morning as I sat down to blog, Ty opened a bottle of white-out and painted himself and my bedroom floor, and while I was cleaning it up, drank the last 1/4 of my vanilla latte. I'm surprised he's sleeping right now. WOW, did you like those excuses? I'm a little long-winded...my father's daughter, indeed.

Now that I've taken up far too much of your time, I'll hit the holiday highlights. Here's a good story. Christmas eve we were picking up some last minute groceries and I was pushing the car-shaped cart (brilliant) at Fred Meyer with my two little elves reeking havoc left and right. I actually got to the check out counter needing to put 3 different items back because I had no idea they were thrown in my cart. ANYWAY, I'm trying to wheel that beast of a cart around a corner and I almost nail a sweet little elderly couple. I apologized profusely and the husband, a quite portly little gentleman, makes a remark about how it's no problem, and they have made the aisles bigger and so on, and Ty starts saying "Santa, Santa, ho ho ho, Santa" as we're walking away. I'm smiling at the Christmas spirit my son is caught up in when I realize that the old man had a nice white beard to go along with that bowl full of jelly stomach. It was cut short, but it was a beard nonetheless, and Ty couldn't have been more excited that he had just been chatting with St. Nick.

Too long again, sorry. Presents, food, adorable Christmas outfits (pix to come later)reading the Christmas story, stocking stuffers, delightful squeals of joy, more food, lots of family, singing Happy Birthday to Jesus, more food, more family, and disgusted squeals of anger when the toys were put away at bedtime. Speaking of bedtime, rabbit trail with me for a moment. I'll make it quick. Ty got a twin bed for Christmas, so the boys have been sleeping in the same room. We're eventually getting bunkbeds, but we're planning to move pretty soon so the beds are on the floor. Probably a good idea with Ty's history of...being Ty. But it always takes them about 1 1/2 hours to actually fall asleep. I'm not exaggerating. Dan had been scolding them the other night after about an hour, and said if they got out of their beds again, there would be spankings. He heard some noise and opened the door to find Jake standing with a pillow raised over his head, ready to pummel Ty. "But Daddy, I didn't get out of my bed." It always cracks me up to check on them before I go to sleep. This is what I found the other night:I guess if you're going to use anyone's rear end for a pillow, Ty's diaper clad ghetto booty would be a pretty good choice.

So to sum it all up, even with the illnesses and sleepless nights, we loved being with family, we loved seeing the delight on our kids' faces, we loved celebrating the birth of our Savior, and we definitely had ourselves a merry little Christmas. Hope you did too.

Like father, like son.

I'm sure you've noticed that I've been taking a break from blogging for a while...a little sabbatical, or blogger hiatus, if you will. Am I refreshed? Um, not exactly. The reason for my absence in the blogosphere is two-fold. First, my kids have both been throwing up for the last week, and second...I wasn't able to find my computer under the pile of vomit-covered laundry that has taken over my house.

Now that we are on the mend (knock on wood) I NEED to post something funny because otherwise I'd be folding laundry and being responsible, and I may throw up and start the whole cycle over again if I have to match one more sock.

I meant to post this before the Great Stomach Virus of 2007, but here it is, late, but better than never. I put Ty down for a nap last week, and came out of his room to a very quiet house. Jake was not in the living room, or kitchen, or his bedroom, and the silence was getting a little too silent for me. I opened the bathroom door to find this...
Actually, what I saw was even funnier than the picture. He had his elbows on this knees and was looking intently at the sports page. I asked him, "What are you doing, Jake?" "Oh, I'm just poopin' and readin' about the NFL."

Hmm, wonder where he got that.

If only...

...I'd married a black man and we raised our boys in the 70's.

Megan Nichole

Happy birthday to my best friend! Wow, where do I even start? In the 12 years we've been friends we have made so many memories. We ate 3 layer pb&j's and wild cherry Pepsi together in the Barlow High School cafeteria. I went to England to visit her at Bible school and almost got her expelled...way too long of a story to recall here, but if they ever make a movie of my life, that tale will definitely be in it. We were roomies at The Master's College my freshman year, and made too many inside jokes to count. We shared generic Kool-Aid (how poor is that?) and Kix with yogurt, and I made fun of her for eating Kashi "Good Friends" cereal. Mmm, twigs. We also shared a twin bed when we thought putting her mattress on top of mine would give us more space, regardless of the built-in bedframe that remained on her side of the room. We bargain shopped at Walmart and shared clothes, and camped out at Yosemite on Easter break.

We were in each other's weddings. She told me she was pregnant with Jenna right after I had Jake, and the moment Megan found out she was a girl, we both heard wedding bells. No pressure though now, especially because of Elsie and Ty.

We've had lots of typical best friend conversations where we start out crying and end up laughing. Whenever I'm down I can just think of Megan, genuinely confused, saying "Chicken fried steak...is that like 2 meats in one?"

Thanks Megan, for so many memories. And for all the ones that we're about to make. We may not be living next door to each other like we'd always planned, but a few miles away isn't too bad. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I LOVE YOU!!

I have 38046 pictures of Megan and I, but none of them on a digital camera, so you'll have to imagine us hugging and grinning from ear to ear. We're pretty cute, huh?

Snot funny

We had an incident yesterday. A trip to the pediatrician and seconds away from a trip to a specialist. Buckle up, here we go:

At about 12:30pm I was making Scooby-Doo mac and cheese (not related, but thought you may want to know) and I heard Jake start wailing in the bathroom. I rushed in there and he was standing there holding his face and bawling. I started looking for blood and asked him what happened. "The thing--gulp, sob--the thing hurt my nose, mom." "What thing Jake, what's wrong?" "THE THING, MOM!" I looked all around the bathroom trying to figure out what THING could have hurt him and told him to calm down and tell me what the problem is. "The flashlight..." (He's been playing with a mini-flashlight for the last few days.) "How did the flashlight hurt you?" Wait for it...

"It's in my nose."

Um, WHAT? "I put the flashlight in my nose."

Well, I didn't see the flashlight dangling out of his nose, so I knew that couldn't be it. But I had him tip his head back and what did I see? Besides an ungodly amount of snot, I saw a small battery. The mini-flashlight battery. And that sucker was not going to come out, especially because of the now hysterical 3-year-old who thought his right nostril might be a fun place for that battery to hang out.

So an hour and a half later we were squeezed in to the pediatrician's office. This was the scene when we got into a room: The medical assistant walks in and starts talking to Jake. "So, what brings you in today?"

"I stuck a battery up my nose."

A muffled giggle. She looks at me, "I'm sorry, that's not funny." No, I'm thinking, It's not funny. Snot funny at all.Then the doctor comes in and she asks me, "Did you watch him do it?" Heck yeah, I told him to shove some more stuff up there, too. "Um, nooooo." But I actually knew what she meant. "I don't think anything else is up there. I asked him and he said it's only the battery."

Silence. I can hear her thinking: Mmm hmm. And your child is obviously totally reliable at this point.

Three terrifying tweezer-like instruments and one very swollen and bloody nostril later, the doctor says, "If I can't get it out with this one, I'll have to send you to the ENT specialist." (ENT=Ear, Nose and Throat but the words in my head were Expensive, Never-going-to-live-this-down and Traumatic). I found myself uttering a prayer I never thought I'd have to pray. Please, God let this woman be able to yank the battery out of my son's nose so we can afford some Christmas presents (with no small parts) for him and his brother.

And the Holy Spirit heard my groans and the Almighty released the battery along with a fistful of rust-colored snot. You think I'm being dramatic? After restraining a thoroughly horrified 3-year-old by having him sit on my lap, wrapping one leg around both of his, holding both his arms down with my right, and holding his bucking head still with my left, I think ...you don't know what drama is.

Turkey Day and a nurse's ramblings

I hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was a little hectic after Dan broke a rib playing tackle football (minus pads plus an absurd amount of testosterone) in the annual Turkey Bowl. So my morning was spent making food for 2 get-togethers and rummaging through the medicine cabinet for left over Vicodin and having to get the kids ready by myself as Dan grimaced on the couch. Poor baby, there's nothing you can do for broken ribs besides pain control, but at least he's getting out of changing dirty diapers for a while.

Dinner at the Stumps was great, and dinner at the Alcorns was great, and my stomach didn't feel quite as great after choosing to eat full meals at both. But isn't that what Thanksgiving is all about? Just kidding, I spent the whole day being thankful for all my blessings, not just Rolaids. I had to go straight from my parents to work (yeah holiday night shift pay), so the kids spent the night there to help out the Broken Rib...I mean my husband.

I know, I'm a nurse and I have the nurse habit of referring to people by their diagnosis instead of their name. I try not to, but sometimes it's just easier, and yes I'll admit it, a lot more amusing to do so. Examples? There was the "'I swear I'm not pregnant' teenager in full-term labor" in room 20 the other day. And the "I'm having 10/10 abdominal pain yet I'm currently downing a large bag of Cheetos" in room 15. And the ever popular "I claimed I was having chest pain so I'd get back to a room faster but really I have dental pain and want nearly lethal amounts of Demerol" in room 2. Just a little insight into my job as an ER nurse.

The Broken Rib and I could refer to our kids by their complaints as well. There's Jake "Ty keeps stealing my hot wheels and that's why I kicked him in the head" Stump and Ty "the last bruise on my face is almost gone so I thought jumping of the coffee table into the middle of Jake and his hot wheels would be a good idea" Stump.

I should be thankful no one calls me Ang "we should probably put her husband and kids in protective custody related to all of their suspicious injuries" Stump.

Know your cars

Anyone who knows Jake knows that he likes cars. Actually that's the understatement of the year...he is OBSESSED with cars. And ever since he could attempt the words, he would correctly identify them and remember which person had which vehicle. For a long time it was "toh-toh-toh" for Toyota and "naw-naw" for Honda, but he'd get it right EVERY time. It used to freak me out, and it still does every once in a while when he's only seen the side of a car that has no logo or words on it anywhere. Especially ones like SAAB or Daewoo. So no car has ever been just a "white car" or "big car." Including his hot wheels. Take a look.

He's right on every one of them by the way. And that was my first take. I'm not exaggerating when I say he'd rather go to a parking garage than a toy store. But he's a cute little freak, isn't he?

Ugly baby updates

If you haven't seen my blog from July about my ugly children, read that first so you have some background.

Okay, now that you're sufficiently horrified...meet the Ugliest Child of November, 2007:I was trying to get a picture of the hideous bruise over his right eye (just FYI, falling head first off a chair into the corner of the fireplace may result in some facial-mangling.)

Yes, the good child, I mean Jake, is still alive. And yes, I know I've been neglecting to blog about him lately. I swear I give him a little attention every once in a while. When I'm not stopping a flow of blood, or trying in vain to scoop a mountain of baby powder back in the container, or using a fire hose to clean the kitchen after dinner...

Quotes of the day

Because Felix cannot remain indoors while Ty is eating (see previous post, and picture Ty's excessively ketchupped hands being licked raw), he's whining outside and I keep telling him to be quiet.
Jake: "No Fewix, we will not let you in...not by the hair on our chinny chin chins."

Ty's quote of the day: "No teh-tup head, daddy pank a bahbahm." (Again, see previous post.) And yes, the fear of daddy has nipped the intentional ketchup smearing in the bud. Hopefully tomorrow his quote will be "I will eat everything with the proper utensils, and not leave any food remnants behind on any part of my anatomy. And my mom is the coolest."

Teh-tup and other food disasters

Ty is getting quite verbal. Know what his favorite sentence is right now? "No teh-tup head, daddy pank a bahbahm." (No rubbing ketchup on my head or daddy will spank my bottom.) The kid is a disaster, head to toe, after eating. Every day. Three times a day. Ever since the first bite of rice cereal. And he wonders why I won't give in when he asks me to put ketchup on his pancakes and in his soup.

 

You can tell Felix has caught on to the fact that food is always falling off Ty's hands and face while he's in the highchair. Oh, and I forgot that it's not just mealtime. That last picture is of a green crayon he was munching on. I had to hose the green off his chin, hands and arms. Well, at least there was no teh-tup involved.

Happy Halloween

Jake's Halloween highlight: running around downtown Gresham telling every single person who would listen that he was a dinosaur and he was here with his brother Ty who was a monkey and mom and dad and grandma and Auntie Jenny and that all he had to do is say "trick or treat" and they filled up his bucket with yummy candy like suckers and candy bars and he just saw his cousins and his friends Ashlynn and Lorelai and Kari and Joel and that he doesn't think he can eat all the candy right now cause mommy said to wait until after dinner to have more, and wasn't this the most fun thing anyone could ever think of...


Ty's Halloween highlight: chocolate

Only for you, Faith

My dear friend Faith, who gets frigheningly excited about these things, "tagged" me again to write about random things, but this time there's actual questions so it's easier, and therefore quicker, so I'll indulge her. Love you, Faithy! So if you're interested in what I think of my husband, read on.

All About My Great Husband…

1. Who is your man? Daniel John Stump (aka dude)
2. How long have you been together? 8 years
3. How long did you date? 2 years
4. How old is your man? 27. He robbed the cradle. Just kidding, we're 9 months apart. Sorry Natalie but I'm not Honey.
5. Who eats more? Pizza? Dan hands down. Chinese food is a toss up. When it comes to chocolate, I rule.
6. Who said “I love you” first? He did. He says I can laugh about it now, but I still feel bad that I was so surprised I didn't say it back until the next day.
7. Who is taller? He is. Actually, when I wear my Spice Girls' platform shoes...
8. Who sings better? He does. Though neither of us would make it past round 1 of American Idol. At least we know it.
9. Who is smarter? Anything related to math, and he wipes the floor with me. But then again, he's never written a book. I'll let you decide.
10. Whose temper is worse? Probably his. Ok, defitely his, especially during football season, but mine came out in full force as soon as Jake hit about 18 months old and started morphing into Mr. Hyde. My easy, perfect baby and my seemingly anger-free personality...poof, gone. (These are green M&M's he swiped at Christmas and got all over himself and my carpet.)
11. Who does the laundry? I wash it, I dry it, I fold it...and neither of us puts it away.
12. Who takes out the garbage? He does, and thanks.
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Hmm. If you're in the bed, he's on the right. If you're standing at the end of the bed, it's me. Like anyone cares that I'm clarifying.
14. Who pays the bills? I do. I can't have him finding out that I'm not the bargain shopper I claim to be. Oh wait, I got this jacket at Ross. For $6.99. I'm totally serious. Why would you not bargain shop?
15. Who is better with the computer? Probably him. I don't have any witty comments on this one, sorry.
16. Who mows the lawn? He does, though unlike Faith, I'm perfectly capable of doing so.
17. Who cooks dinner? Normally it's me. But if you want something really tasty, he's the man. He should be the next Food Network Star. I would have said the next Iron Chef, but he's not very fond of tripe ice cream.
18. Who drives when you are together? He does. Probably saves us money on speeding tickets.
19. Who pays when you go out? He does. If I have to calculate a tip I feel woozy.
20. Who is most stubborn? We both are.
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Neither of us. We're both always right.
22. Whose parents do you see the most? Probably his. Mine are off galavanting in Hawaii right now where we can't swing by as easily.
23. Who kissed who first? Actually, Ryan kissed Michelle first. Then Dan kissed me (he couldn't let Ryan steal all the thunder of that awesome double date they had planned.)
24. Who asked who out? It was all him. He had it all thought out, so I had no excuses. Even if he hadn't, I'd have said yes. He was the man. Still is.
25. Who proposed? I did. I got down on one knee, and...just kidding. He did and I cried.
26. Who is more sensitive? Me, though it kills me to say it. It's not like anyone would believe me if I said him.
27. Who has more friends? Me. I'm nicer.
28. Who has more siblings? He does. 4 to 1.
29. Who wears the pants in the family? Definitely him. Speaking of which, I need to sew those jeans again.
30. What’s your favorite thing about your man? He pauses his football game and wrestles with his boys, even when he's exhausted.

Olive Ainsley Grace

We're surrounded by babies!! Congratulations to our friends Vergil and Kelsey on the birth of their first, a girl, Olive Ainsley Grace. She was born happy and healthy and adorable on Tuesday October 23rd. Vergil is our pastor at Gresham Bible Church and we became fast friends with he and Kelsey when we met them a little over a year ago. He wrote an email to our church awhile back, which includes Megan and new baby Elsie, and warned everyone not to drink the punch at the potlucks. There's tons of new babies and pregnant mommies walking around at GBC! They've started a blog for Olive, but these last few days have been crazy so there's not an update yet, but I'm sure one is coming soon, right Verge?

Welcome to the world of parenthood, Browns. We are so excited to see little Olive grow up, and to see you guys take on the role of mommy and daddy. You're going to be great parents!

Elsie Mae

Congratulations to my best friend Megan and husband Eric on the birth of their baby girl. Elsie Mae joined big sis Jenna on Friday October 19, and I couldn't be happier for this sweet little family! She is beautiful, such a tiny miracle. Check out pics and more of the story on the Wood's blog.

I'm so glad I got to hold you today, Elsie. I'm hopefully going to be seeing a lot of you over the next few years. Not that we've discussed this, or even thought about it, but the odds of your mother and I being related through marriage some day have gone up since you entered the world. Ty and Elsie, Jake and Jenna. Ty and Jenna, Jake and Elsie. Hmm, guess that's about it. Promise me at least a Prom date with one of my boys, okay?

Megan and Eric, we so appreciate your friendship and can't wait to see how Elsie adds to your lives. Thanks for being great parents who are raising beautiful daughters to be women of God. We love you guys!

Dad's are the best

Wednesday I took the kids to Dan's football game. The rain held out long enough for the boys to run around and me to have to pull both of them off the field multiple times. There is one kid on Dan's team that is not a lot bigger than Jake, but I'm not ready for them to be tackled without pads quite yet.

We had a great time even though Dan's team lost the game. It was frustrating for him because he would tell the kids exactly what the other team was about to do and how to stop them, and yet his players wouldn't listen and would end up watching as the other team scored a touchdown. Teaching and coaching have a lot in common. I know there are days when Dan feels like the kids just aren't learning a thing. But however frustrating those days are, I'm proud of Dan for the work he does.

Thanks Dan, and other teachers out there. I know some days you really don't see it, but you do challenge and inspire these kids to be better people. But most importantly, you're on a mission field making a difference for eternity by showing these kids what it looks like to love Jesus. Even in a math class. And even on a football field.

19 months old

19 months old is not the typical milestone people blog about. However, 19 months means that Ty is now the age that Jake was when I gave birth to him (When I gave birth to Ty, not Jake. Wow, that would have been a pregnancy for the books.) Thinking about the way Jake was, and the way Ty is now...well let's just say if we'd had Ty first, baby number 2 would have come a lot later. A WHOLE lot later. Let me just say before I go any farther, that I LOVE THIS CHILD. He is a delight to me, and I love that he is not his brother. That would be boring, and folks, my life is NOT boring with this kid. Here's a little taste of 19 month old Tyler Daniel.



"Heil, Tyler!" Sporting the Hitler 'stache after a chocolate chip cookie. Appropriate because I'm convinced he and Felix are secretly organizing a plot to take over the world.




Telling me in no uncertain terms that he didn't appreciate not being consulted on the haircut idea.




This is Ty after any meal, any day, any time, any place. Just imagine him in different shirts, possibly with different colored dipping sauces covering his entire body, and you have an accurate picture of my son every time he eats.



This picture was taken this morning. I had my camera out looking at our recent pictures when I heard the terrifying sound of silence in the kitchen. This is what I saw. Pretty sure those drawers weren't built to withstand a 28 pound child searching for a snack. Ty's life illustrates the concept of "silent but deadly." I have a few more recent stories proving this point. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera readily available, but I think you'll get the picture. Ha ha.

Ty sitting on the couch watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and eating a tube of toothpaste. The living room floor covered with potpourri. The living room floor covered with quite artistic figure-eights of maple syrup. Ty cutting a hole in a brand new shirt with safety scissors. The kitchen table covered with 2/3 of a box of Kix cereal. Yes, that is a candle with bites taken out of it. The toilet full of an unrolled roll of toilet paper and half a box of Kleenex. 1283 baby wipes individually scattered on Ty's bedroom floor. Ty falling down 1/2 a flight of stairs after giving me a defiant look and standing up despite my warnings. (He was fine, I was 2 feet away and saw the whole dramatic thing.) Ty's face as he takes a sip of the apple cider vinegar he pulled out of the kitchen cabinet. Ty dipping his cup into the dog water and gulping away (this happens quite regularly.)

The list could go on and on. Happy 19 months, baby. Whew, I'm glad you're still my littlest.

Claude Louis Berthollet

My new favorite French chemist: Claude Louis Berthollet. Wanna know why?

"Cl2(aq) + H2O(l) H+(aq) + Cl-(aq) + HClO(aq) The H+ ion of the hypochlorous acid then dissolves into solution, and so the final result is effectively: Cl2(aq) + H2O(l) 2H+(aq) + Cl-(aq) + ClO-(aq)"

That clears it up, I'm sure. For all you uneducated individuals out there, I'll rephrase it.

BEFORE:

AFTER:Mamma's got the magic of...Clorox.

Oh, and this is for you, Diane. And Mom. And Dad. And pretty much everyone except my husband.